How to Cope With Men of High Standards

A lot of times I’ve heard people refer to certain women as high maintenance. I don’t know if there is a specific definition for what a high maintenance woman is but usually, the woman in question loves luxury items which go from clothes to watches to cars. They are also very big on their appearance and spend a lot on looking good from their hair to toe nails. The assumption is that being in a relationship with such a woman can be stressful because of the demands on the partner to join them in living this way.

I won’t go into too much detail about high maintenance women because that is not why we are here. I’d rather rant about the less called out high maintenance men. They are usually not labelled like their female counterparts but I promise you they exist! I have a few real life examples to share. A friend from university was dating a guy and soon after, he started complaining about the quality of her jeans and handbags. To him, a lady should at least be able to get that right. My friend did not want to embarrass him but she did not receive enough pocket money to buy a designer bag so this put a lot of stress on her and the relationship.  Of course, this relationship did not last.

Another friend who lives in Lagos has been seeing a guy for some time but she doesn’t own a car. She just started a nice job with opportunities for growth and is saving towards getting one.
In the meantime, she has to commute using buses and sometimes, keke napeps. Occasionally, she would borrow a parent's car or use taxis for unfamiliar routes or on weekends. When she told the guy how she gets to work he was very upset! “How will that look on me?” he said. He was worried about what his friends would say if they saw her in a BRT.

 

In a different situation, a girl was studying and also saving up to start up a business at the end of the school year. She kept getting invitations from a guy she met to go out. This man has a decent income and likes to spend his money every weekend exploring other towns, dining at restaurants or going for shows. This is quite an admirable pastime. However, if she must start this business, she must stick to her budget. This makes the weekend “dates” financially stressful for her. In addition to that, he also expects that she visits the salon more regularly than she feels is necessary. After she explains to him what her plans for the future are and why she cannot live like he does, he laughs condescendingly and mocks her ambitions. The girl decided that it will be best to focus on her studies and business.

What do you think is the best way to cope? I don’t think that loving luxury brands is bad because it is not. I just think that nobody should be high maintenance and insensitive at the same time. I also don’t think that this attitude is exclusive to women because there are men who are high maintenance as well. I would say that high maintenance people do better with other people who are either high maintenance themselves or have a lot of disposable income. Anything outside of this will only lead to resentment.